7. The Beans

[tommycanyouhearme]

Alright, folks. Here are my book reviews for the month of April. Apologies for any misspelled character's names, as this was all via audiobook so I haven't seen most of the names in print. Let's dive in.

Books listened to in April 2024:

1. Rebel by Amy Tintera


A very enjoyable sequel and conclusion to Tintera's Reboot. It had the kind of ending you would expect from a dystopian novel, more or less, and that's not a bad thing. There were plenty of unexpected twists in the meantime getting to the end. If you've read enough zombie or dystopian novels, it has the kind of flow you'd expect, where there is some kind of uprising/revolt, and it's usually lead by some kind of extremist (cue Micah) who not only wants to defeat the enemy, but eliminate them, with the "if you're not with us, you're against us" mentality. People have to choose sides, and it poses a real danger to the likes of Addy, Riley, Wren and Callum. I was in suspense and thoroughly enjoyed it to the end. It's a bummer that there were only two books!

2. The Golden Spoon by Jessa Maxwell


I'm getting so good at predicting some of these twists and turns! The history between Betsy and Lottie was fascinating (and I called it)! I don't know if I'm either figuring out clues that literally everyone is supposed to figure out, or if not everyone will extrapolate right away and I'm actually good at this. I keep saying this as the months roll by and I read more books. But I loved this concept of the bakeoff and watching it unfold, and all of the trickery and eventually MURDER!!! from both the contestants' point of view, and Betsy's. I was so disappointed that Peter was the first one to be eliminated. I really liked him, and having his mild-mannered and humble point of view taken out of the equation so early on was a disappointment. He was also level-headed, and I think would have been a good team with Lottie and Pradyumna. I could not stand Archie, as I'm sure was intended, but I also didn't like Stella or Hannah. They tried to make Hannah out to be such a victim to Archie's wiles because she's so young, but especially because of the way she was talking, she knew full-well what she was doing. She was a little ladder climber! Stella really wasn't a bad person, but she just bothered me. I can't put my finger on why. Gerald I could clearly see either was autistic, suffered from OCD, or some combo of both, which made him socially awkward and makes him seem like he should be the unlikeable one, but honestly, I liked him. I was also sad he got eliminated early, even though I know it was the nature of the story, and he ended up coming back to save the day, so it was a necessary plot device. The book was not a disappointment, and provided more thrills at every turn! There was plenty I didn't see coming, and the conclusion was awesome! I love that they all reconnected a year later and had become friends. Definitely a worthwhile "and there there was one," sort of, style mystery!

3. Swamp Story by Dave Barry


Okay, this book... there is literally no doing it justice. This is probably one of the zaniest, most hilarious books I have ever read! Dave Barry is hysterical, and he narrates it himself! I was laughing so hard already in the second chapter with the birthday party scene. It just gets more and more ridiculous, and ends well for the characters that more or less deserve it to end well for, lol. The dialogue is so funny, and so many aspects of their interactions and Dave's narration style remind me of Arrested Development, with the deadpan quips/delivery and such, and how you're rewarded for paying attention when the jokes come boomeranging back again. I was delighted that the aging reporter who lost it live on TV named her podcast "What Fucking Context??" There's no one particularly heroic (except for maybe Brad Bortle), but still, you find yourself rooting for (most of) these crazy Floridians in their crazy exploits. Please please please PLEASE read this book, you won't be sorry!!

4. The Pumpkin Spice Cafe by Laurie Gilmore


I really wanted to like this book. I truly did want to. And aspects of it were cute. But it's extremely repetitive and unimaginative. Jeanie's constant inner dialogue is essentially, I never gave much thought for years about what I wanted to do with my life. I don't want to fail at running Aunt Dot's café! I want to fit in here! I won't pursue Logan. I'm here for a fresh start, and that's it! I don't want to pressure Logan into anything he's not ready for after what he went through with Lucy. All I can think about is dirty things about Logan! I'm so damaged because I found my boss dead in his office! (I mean, I get it, that's harrowing, but her thoughts just loop with no real expansion on how she coped or anything.)

All Logan's thoughts seem to consist of is Lucy did me wrong. I can never fall in love again. I don't want to fall for Jeanie, she'll just leave me. I can't help it. I'm so attracted to Jeanie! All I want to do is fix things for Jeanie! I don't want the town's pressure of watching my every move if I get involved with Jeanie and things blow up! What exactly is going on with me and Jeanie? Are we making out? Are we going to do more than that? Are we dating? This secret maybe relationship is more complicated than I thought it would be.

The mystery of who's messing with Jeanie and the café almost feels secondary to all of this inner dialogue of both of them, and the will they, won't they? I'm fine with buildup and wondering what will happen between two characters, but this is crazy! It just loops and loops. Gilmore could have done more to build on this mysterious case of sabotage. And unlike The Unfortunate Side Effects of Magic and Heartbreak, which had its own feel and authentic world, this feels like a cheap knockoff of Gilmore Girls. It's a small town with quirky characters on the East Coast, but Jeanie is the café owner instead of Logan, who more fits the description of Luke. Jeanie's bright and bubbly, like Lorelai, but not complex and layered. Logan is a farmer instead of a café owner, but unlike Luke, he also likes coffee. He's gruff, but much more guarded than Luke. Jeanie has no "Rory" of her own. The mayor is a more affable version of Taylor, the town everything, and he runs the town meetings. He makes decisions for the town based on dreams he had (what?), but he's not exactly clairvoyant. And for some reason it really bothers me that they keep saying Jeanie "inherited" the café, when Aunt Dot isn't dead. Just a misuse of the word, but it bugs me.

Finally... WTF with all of the *spice* at the end! I mean, I guess I'm fine with it but it just seems so unnecessary! It just comes out of nowhere, and then it's just kind of nonstop, and seems like the conclusion of the book is more centered around the eventual consummation of their relationship, and hardly at all the shenanigans of Aunt Dot's oldest employee. It just felt like a footnote, at best. Just not a lot of good fleshing out of the plot or of character development. I would classify this book as okay, just very pleasant fluff, but not much substance to it.

5. The Lost Bookshop by Evie Woods


I loved this book. It did not turn out to be what I expected. I thought it might possibly be turning into another fluff kind of piece, but it actually had a lot of depth and mystery to it. I particularly loved the chapters from Opaline's point of view, in the past. Her life was fascinating! And also so incredibly sad when she was institutionalized! I had a suspicion her baby wasn't really dead, and I kept hoping that she would be reunited with her. I was trying to work out who Mrs. Bowden really was, but they never say. My working theory was that she was either Opaline herself, or Opaline's daughter, or at least some sort of relative/descendant, with the fact that Martha turned out to be a living descendant of them, but I guess we'll never know. Maybe it's not ultimately relevant. Opaline's story ultimately ends well. I was so excited that Martha and Henry finally found Emily Bronte's lost manuscript, but was so sad that nothing ever actually came of it when Opaline found it all those years ago. Her brother Lyndon, ass that he is, ruined everything. Such a wonderful ode to books and writing itself, though, with a touch of some kind of magic/whimsy. I would highly recommend this book if you like historical fiction, books, and stories with a bit of mystical properties too them (namely this bookstore that seems to appear and disappear that people swore they've visited).

6. The Postcard by Carly Schabowski


Fantastic book, but prepare yourself. Lots of gravitas to it. It is partially told through flashbacks, particularly those of a Polish man who survived a concentration camp in northern Germany, and a few from his younger cousin who died shortly after fighting in WWII and being imprisoned but freed, which his cousin takes his place. His last few postcards/letters that the flashbacks are told through, are extremely depressing, and by the time I got to close to the end before he was liberated in 1945, I had to stop and resume the next day. It was so sad. But the ending is a beautiful ending. I had a few working theories about Ilse and Szymon and Tadeuz, and how ultimately Ilse "ruined" Tadeuz's life. I was sort of right and sort of not. Really interesting twists and some good themes of found family in it. Ilse and her granddaughter Mia had such an endearing and sweet relationship, as did she and her friend Marlena, and Marlena and Mia as well. I had a couple of running theories of who Mia's grandfather, and ultimately I guessed right. I was glad they got to finally meet, too.

7. The Other Mrs. by Mary Kubica


Absolutely breathtaking. Kubica really knows how to keep the reader guessing, and on edge. Despite the way things may appear on the surface, I had a few suspicions about what was actually going on, and who the killer was. My suspicions were either A) Camille was a crazy stalker and murdered Morgan out of jealousy, because she hated her as much as she hated Sadie for possibly being an interest of Will's, B) Sadie was going into fugue states for whatever reasons and was even acting out of character BECAUSE she was in the fugue states, since she seemed to be losing periods of time, like when she and Will went to bed when Morgan was murdered, Will not knowing where she went at one point in the middle of the night, and her shirt was unbuttoned, and she had dreamt of being in the hot room in some house, and she kept being late to work and taking long lunch breaks to the point that the nurse hated her, or C) she had DID and had different personalities doing different things at different times that she can't recall, like in Moon Knight, or some combination of A and C, or B and C, or all 3. There were too many moving pieces and points of view to guess early on, plus the chapters from Mouse's point of view make you wonder whether she was Morgan's stepdaughter, or if this was a flashback to someone else's childhood. Kubica does a good job of not revealing things until absolutely necessary, when she wants them revealed. All the while, you wonder what hand Imogen has in any of this. I never really suspected Otto. By the end, I was admittedly smugly satisfied that I figured out one big twist... BUT THEN THERE'S ANOTHER. And HOOOOOOLY crap did I not see that one coming! You have to be careful if you're listening to the audiobook, though, because sometimes I like to check the progress just to see where I'm at, but the chapters are named by whose point of view it is, and honestly that in and of itself, if you see the chapters laid out like that, could accidentally spoil the ending for you if you're astute. It semi-did for me, or helped confirm a couple of things ahead of time (but not the END end). Oops. But this book ended well in the end, and gives no ambiguity over whether or not all remaining parties will be okay. I believe I've found yet another favorite author!

8. Rubicon: The Triumph and Tragedy of the Roman Republic by Tom Holland (not Spiderman)


A wonderfully written historical account of the Roman Republic and its downfall. Readers be warned, this book *is* dense, on audio, or in physical form. Written, it's 432 pages. This isn't maybe a particularly daunting length, especially for the avid reader, except that it is jam-packed with information. You must be able to actively read/listen, or you will miss a lot. Holland takes the time to give a very descriptive account of the several decades he covers of Rome and it's territories in appearance, lifestyle, politics, and rivalries and alliances at the time, with a great deal spent on the Triumvirate of Julius Caesar, Marcus Licinius Crassus, and Pompey the Great, its inevitable deterioration with the death of Crassus, and the ailing political climate of Rome thereafter. Narrated by Mark Meadows, the same who narrates Matt Haig's How to Stop Time (I love him!), the book goes at a moderate clip, not too slow or fast. Enough not to drag, so that it flows well, but not too fast as to miss information, if you're paying attention. Meadows makes it easier to parse sentences that may possibly seem insurmountable in printed form. Holland wields a great vocabulary in this body of work. Probably best read by those passionate about history, but I definitely enjoyed it.

9. She's Not Sorry by Mary Kubica


Another stellar book by Mary Kubica! There are a lot of variables going on in the storyline that make it hard to guess what's happening at first, and it's also hard to separate if they're related or not, and all the same person or not. It's easier to determine more as the story progresses, but I will say that I guessed two very big twists. The first, I was less shocked, but the second, I could not believe I was right. There was very minimal information to guess, and still, I had this nagging gut feeling. The one thing I will say, that I hope isn't too much of a spoiler, is that I had no idea at first that Nat disappearing and Caitlin being in a coma were not happening concurrently, but rather, consecutively. I thought this was all one linear narrative. Kubica very shrewdly conceals that fact until that reveal is absolutely necessary to know, and it happens so quickly and innocuously. She doesn't make a detailed account of actual dates, just mentions days of the week at times, which I honestly don't think would have been consistently enough to establish a timeline in my head (or I'm nto paying enough attention?), and because Megan is a nurse, it makes it easy enough to just get lost in the fact that her schedule is what it is. She also throws in very good details to thwart and distract you and make you *think* you know what's going on and who did what. She's very careful about what she reveals and when, to keep you guessing. Even if you're astute and can guess some things on gut instinct, there are plenty of surprises, and it keeps you on edge. I honest to God jumped at one point when the narrator was doing someone's voice, and it wasn't any different in volume. Just an unexpected conversation entrance, because I was spellbound by the plot. Well done!

10. Everyone Here is Lying by Shari Lapena


I thoroughly enjoyed Shari Lapena's story! It had a bit of a Desperate Housewives feel to it, in that you're wondering what is going on with the neighbors in this neighborhood?! It was an interesting way to tell it, with perspectives thrown in of everyone that isn't responsible for Avery's disappearance, but that the cops suspect. I was not expecting the plot twist that, among many things, she wasn't dead. I couldn't figure out, especially after reading other reviews to try and confirm what I thought, if Lapena didn't really know much about kids, or if Avery really was a sociopath. I honestly think she was, but can a girl exhibit those signs at age 9?? I truthfully don't know. The ending was so good, but also doesn't answer every single question, because you want to know if the fake kidnapping will ever come to light to the public, for example. It just stops in the middle of the TV interview, and that's that. *SIGH* I will be honest, I really hated Avery. When she was just presented as a "difficult child" at the beginning, I had some sympathy because I could see some of Anya in her, but when you realize this story is not what you think, and she's actually faking her own abduction, I really hated her. She just shows how much of a Satan's spawn she is the whole rest of the book. First time I ever hated a child character. Most of the adults in the story were terrible people, too.

11. Hello, Transcriber by Hannah Morrissey


Oh man, so many mixed feelings about this book. The overall plot was fantastic, and I lived the bits about transcribing for the police via Hazel's point of view, but her affair with Kole was just wowwwww. I didn't like her husband Tommy, but I'll say what I always say about that. Cheating isn't the answer. LEAVE first. Not that there was much evidence to suggest it, so it's no shock to me that I was wrong, but I honestly though Candy Man was going to end up being Tommy, especially since he kept associating with Sam. Lots of plot twists with who it ended up being. I will say this, too, I was gratified that Hazel ultimately ends things with Kole and does not go back to him, but that they do end on good terms. I like the fact that Morrissey wasn't afraid to point out all of the issues with their relationship and the premise on which both sides started things. It bugs me how high and mighty Hazel acted about Kole being possibly involved with his CI, Pearl (which ended up being a rumor), and his dead brother's wife, when the whole time she was cheating on her own husband. Really?? You need to touch grass, girlfriend. Ugh, there were just so many things about their relationship that bothered me, but it was very candidly and bravely examined by Morrissey, instead of beating around the bush or worse, excusing it. Can't wait to read the next two Black Harbor books.